About Me

Texas, United States
I am a stay at home Mom from Oregon who has landed in Texas.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Well, Poo!

So I need a stinking Birth Certificate since my license is expired it is only a secondary form of ID! That is just fabulous! At least now I know where to go to get everything done, and will for sure have it all together when I finally get my Birth Certificate in the mail. There goes another $32 (Unless Dad or Mom has the original that they can mail to me????)! Geesh!

Thursday, February 28, 2008


So, I feel like a teenager all over again tonight! A few days ago Keith was using my drivers license number for something and he realized that it is expired, and the kicker is it expired in DECEMBER! Ahhhh! That means, not only have I been driving around illegally, but I now have to pass all THREE tests at the DMV to get my license! That's right I have to take the driving test, the written test, and the easy vision test. So here I am putting off studying (typical procrastination! you would think I had grown out of that, obviously not!) so that I can share my fears with you! I know I will pass, but for some reason my stomach is troubled...parallel parking under pressure? Never pleasant. Remembering who has the right of way and how far to park from the fire hydrant...please let me pass! If I fail, I will just DIE of embarrassment. The only good thing that is coming out of this, is that for once in my life my license will show my ACTUAL place of residence! And the best part you ask? Cowboys license plates!

P.S. I will keep you all posted, and please pray for me that I have a good hair day tomorrow! The last license picture I took I was 7 months pregnant with Natalie!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Way Back Wednesday

Here is my sixth grade school picture, I actually don't hate it. That is surprising. But man, oh man, did I have some gangly teeth!
I finally found a picture of me with my first pair of glasses (bifocals). We were poor so these were like the only frames that our insurance covered, or so I remember!
We always had pets, these are some kitties we had at one time. I recall we took them to a farmer's market to try and give them away?? I am not sure how successful that was. Erin was a pretty cute kid! And that is my stepsister Cris, so cute!
Um, yeah, here is Mindi and I being retarded at Girl's Camp. I actually have 2 pictures from this day of us doing the same pose. Sweet. My shirt says "Legalize Freedom", it is some shirt I got from my dad, but it is hilarious because everyone thought it said "Legalize Marijuana". Um, take the time to READ people! I almost got in trouble for wearing it! Needless to say after I got reprimanded from some stupid leader that didn't read the shirt all the way, you couldn't pay me to take it off till it was filthy! Take that, authority figure!

Pretty as Spring

I thought Natalie just screamed Spring the other day. With her yellow shirt, white skirt and pink shoes! These are the only ones that turned out, all the rest eyes were closed or it was too dark. Still, at least I got some new pictures of her actually smiling and not rolling her eyes or goofy grinning!

And here is Mr. Brady looking cool and "esersising". He loves his clogs!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Too old for her own good!

I am now convinced that Natalie is 3 going on 13! I am not ready for this. She talks so hilariously teenagerish that I can't stand it. She rolls her eyes, she says "like", she does this super funny clicking sound to emphasize certain points (think of the snap action, but with a click noise instead of a snap), she calls Brady "Cool Kid McFool Kid" ( I think she heard us say that once, but hearing it out of her mouth is just TOO much!!). She cracks me up! I think a lot of her actions she is picking up from some of the older kids at preschool, but I like it, she is testing out personalities. She is learning that there are some ways to speak that you just don't do to Mommy and Daddy. We have been having lots of mini-lessons on language around here. Talking about how Moms and Dads are allowed to say some things that kids aren't and learning a lot about tone of voice and attitude. And she has ATTITUDE! I love this kid more than life itself, but man I have a feeling her teenage years are going to be tough!

P.S. I did get some very pretty pictures (at least they looked good on the camera!) of her the other day, and I will post them, as soon as I get a minute to put them on the computer!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Holy Cow!

While I was trying to get that last post done, and I was on a break from work Brady just gave me a super surprise! He counted! "One, two, four, five!" I have to say I am one proud Mama!

I was just talking to Kelli about how I underestimate Brady because he is the baby and we forget the level that he is at, so it is so surprising when he does something like this! I have to remember that he is 2 now, and he is learning so much every day!

Bathroom Confessions

A few orders of bathroom dealings tonight. The first is that I am thinking my Mr. Brady is either claustrophobic or has an irrational fear of public restrooms and dressing rooms! I first noticed it a while back when I was at Target with the kids and Natalie had to go potty. I was by myself so that meant I had to park the cart (full of course) and lug the kids in, and pray the large stall was open! It was, so I was thinking luck was on my side, until we went in the stall and Brady started FREAKING OUT! I had to have him stand while I did the crazy don't touch the public toilet seat dance with Natalie (don't even get me started on that! It is so hard to take her potty in public, what with the laying down of the protective million sheets of toilet paper, the holding of her on the potty so her legs don't drag on the front of the toilet, etc, etc, etc). Anywho back to Brady, so here he is crying the whole time I am trying to keep them germ free, and the poor guy was miserable. Then once we were safely back out with our cart, all sterilized and ready to go, he kept saying "loud, loud", so I just thought he didn't like the loudness of the flushing toilets and the way it is echoey (sp??) in the restroom. I comforted him, and didn't give it a second thought!

Until, that is, we were at Old Navy and we went into the dressing room to try on some clothes. I had Brady in a cart, and really didn't think there was going to be a problem, until we wheeled him in and he started crying as soon as I shut the door! I consoled him, and we tried on our things as quickly as we could so that we could get the poor guy out of there, and back into the safety of the wide open store!

And then, Saturday I took the kids to Chik-fil-A (yummy!) and we had to go into the bathroom to wash up when we were done. Again, I didn't think it would be an issue, especially since we were just washing hands like we do after every meal (especially if it is greasy chicken nuggets!!). But, surprise, surprise he started crying as soon as we got in there! I suppose it didn't help that it was like the smallest bathroom ever, and there were other people trying to wash up too! So, these events have led me to conclude that Brady is scared of bathrooms, or small spaces, either way, I will have to make sure I am more careful from now on! Who knew fears like this could show themselves at such an early age?

Now compared to that looooong story the other matter of business seems trivial! But I really need to vent somewhere and where better than my blog? The issue is that our stupid shower can't make up it's mind whether or not it wants to be scalding hot or ice water cold. So the whole time we are showering we are doing a little in and out dance trying to save our skin! I don't think there is a way to fix this either so we are stuck! It was fine for a while, we would get a normal temp shower more than half the time, but now it seems like almost every time we are dealing with its fickleness! It makes showers take twice as long, and not to mention I feel like I am back at girls camp braving the freezing cold shower just so that I can wash my hair!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Happy Things 02/24/08

1. Chubby baby thighs
2. Getting to bed before 11 o'clock
3. Playing Guitar Hero with Keith for the first time in weeks
4. Fully stocked fridge
5. Pancakes for dinner AND breakfast in the same week!
6. February is almost over!
7. A huge stack of brand new fat quarters (now I have to figure out something to do with them!)
8. Part 3 of Pride and Prejudice: tonight!!!
9. Talking to Natalie like she is a big kid, and actually holding a conversation with her that makes sense!
10. Warm weather and the first trip to the park of the new year!

Swoon, swoon and more swoon!

So I have just finished watching part 2 of the 6 hour version of Prode and Prejudice and it bascially has me thinking "Colin Firth where have you been all my life???" I don't know if it is him, or it is just the character of Mr. Darcy that has me sighing everytime he comes on the screen! I am thinking it is the character, because I have the same reaction to the Mr. Darcy played by Matthew Macfayden in the new version with Kiera Knightley, and he is not like super dreamy in real life. So anyways, both of these men make me swoon! Is there a service I can find that would let me hire Colin Firth to read me bedtime stories? He would have to wear period clothes from the movie of course! And maybe I could get Matthew Macfayden to tell me I have bewitched him body and soul?? That would make a nice morning greeting on my alarm clock.Pretty much I think that Mr. Darcy has to be THE most romantic character of all time, and I think that once exposed to his wonderfulness every girl will fall madly in love! Here is my FAVORITE scene from the new version, I could rewind this part over and over again. Who wouldn't want the man of their dreams (aka our husbands of course) to say something like this to them? Who? No one, that's who!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Pancake dinner

So last night because Keith was gone for dinner I had to make something fun in order to make dinner a bit more pleasant. So of course we had pancakes (I even put chocolate chips in some....yummy!). The kids know this is a real treat to have pancakes for dinner, heck I would have breakfast for dinner everynight if I could! They had a good time and Brady was being really cute and saying "pancakes" in this super high squeaky voice. Of course when I tried to tape it he stopped. I kind of got it with a prompting, but it isn't the same, he is still pretty cute though! I love his voice.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Play doh experience

So Keith has been gone all day doing some sort of Tax Pro bono thing for school where people can come and get help with their taxes for either cheap or free. He is going to be helping out with this all weekend so I have been wracking my brain for things to do with the monkeys. We are so used to having Daddy come home in the afternoon that it was a real change of pace for me to keep the kids entertained by myself all day.

Anywho, when they woke up from naps the first thing we did was play PlayDoh. Brady was pretty darn excited as he has never been allowed to play with it before. He did a really good job, I have no idea why we never let him do it before, I think it is because we were afraid he would eat it. Turns out he didn't eat it he just hid pieces of it in his highchair so that when I was cleaning up after I kept finding yellow chunks in random places. Who knew there were so many hiding places in a highchair!She does exist! Natalie finally let me take pictures of her, and I had to beg to get these! I think she is starting to look so old! Her hair is really long, and after I blow dry it after baths she looks so beautiful I can't stand it. It actually made me cry the other night, so there I was drying her hair, crying away.

New Shoes

The kids feet have been growing really fast lately and it seems like all of their shoes got too small all at once. So the first outings we had after The Sickness were to get new shoes for the kiddos. Now in our house we take our shoes off at the front door (saves a LOT of cleaning up, you would be surprised!) and so the kids love when they get new shoes because that means they can wear them in the house until the become tainted by the outside world. Anywho, before naps today I had the kids help clean up a bit and after I put them both to bed I noticed their little shoe garden. Brady loves his new (fake) crocs, he gets so proud that he can put them on "by self", I might need to get him another pair so he can have one inside one and one to wear out! And of course Natalie's pink polka dot shoes are fabulous.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

5 Random Factoids

Kelli tagged me HERE ages ago and I just have not been able to think of anything for the longest time! I still as I sit here begining this post am not sure of what random things I will put, but I am supposed to put down 5 randoms about me.

1. I pick my lips. Very Bad. Like to the point of icky red and raw lips. Not pretty. Thank heavens for chapstick...
2. There are like 15 open tubes (possibly more, make that for sure more) of chapstick in my house. My current favorite is the Burt's Bees with Pomegranate oil, I am bound and determined to actually finish this one.
3. When I get bored/nervous/antsy I mess (read: pull out hairs) with my left eyebrow. Chances are you have seen me in various stages of eyebrow-ness due to this habit. At one point after a really good yank I had about 3/4 of an inch of eyebrow left...that was not fun!
4. I have a tendency to be a pack rat, but I hate clutter. Makes no sense at all.
5. I still sleep with my baby blanket (aka blankie). It is soft and I use it as a perfect pillow. This thing has been EVERYWHERE with me. Not many nights have been spent without it.

And there ya go. Another random post for the books. Now I tag... Missy, Julie G. and Jenny G.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The party's over...

...tomorrow we are back to the grind. I guess we are all bascially over being sick, just pretty cough and still a bit sniffly. I have no idea when we pass the mark of being contagious, but I am thinking we are in the clear. We still need to take it easy, but there is no getting around it, we can't ignore the world anymore. Now we have to learn to juggle Keiths new job (HURRAH!!!) and internship and school, with my job (man, I am ready to be a not working mom again! but at least I have the best job I could have for what I need!) and Natalie's school. Not to mention we have to clean this cesspool only to have it invaded in a few weeks by Keith's mom, and I have heard rumors both (yes BOTH) of his younger brothers will be here for a few days during her stay (HOW ?!?!?!).

Luckily by then Erin will be moved into a new place! She found a girl through a friend who needed a roomate until July, it will be perfect! We are excited for her (and for us!). That means we will soon be moving Mr. B into a big boy bed! Lots of changes will be happening in the next month over here at the Bowers!

Now who wants to play? and come help clean?...hehehe...just kidding!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Happy Things?

In light of all the cruddy things that have been going on over here (the sickness that never ends; someones car getting broken into-that was parked RIGHT. NEXT. TO. MINE!; the mess, oh! the horrible, horrible mess!; and don't even get me STARTED on my Brady's birthday-his birthday post will come, one day) I am still going to try to find 10 happy things that have happened this week. Lets see how I do.

1. I have lost 8 pounds this week, I doubt it will stay off, but I can pray!
2. Kelli's grocery trip...umm...who wants to go next?? hehehe...just kidding...kind of...
3. Keith's job interview (we hope this will be a happy thing!) fingers crossed!
4. mail! Thankfully before I was sick I sent out swaps, so now some packages are filtering in!
5. Travel Channel, Food Network, and Disney
6. The kids room is really, really clean (might have something to do with the fact that they are never in there!)
7. Water is plentiful and tasty
8. I don't work until Thursday
9. Friday night thunderstorms
10. Having Keith here to help me get through this

Um, that was tough. I hope all are well, and feeling much better than we are! We miss you outside world, one day we will be back!

Friday, February 15, 2008

From my sweet honey

Keith has been such a trooper through all of this sickness and sorrow over here. I was planning on nothing for Valentine's, since we did our own thing last week ( I surprised Keith with an over night stay in a hotel!!). But lets not take away from Keith here, he has been letting me lay in bed, taking care of the kiddos, fetching tissues and water and juice and whatever else anyone needs. And the best part you ask? Wednesday there was a knock on the door and when I opened it my sweet mail lady handed me a very fetching little brown envelope, from none other than The Black Apple!!

Hurrah! My very own Black Apple print! This is the one I got.

I have been wanting one of her prints for a very long time, I check often to find the one that is just right for me. This one is perfect! The colors are my colors and the description given by the artist, "This little girl and her baby hedgehog are both a little bit prickly, but mostly very sweet." is pretty much me. I love you Keith! Thank you SO much!!!

Bowers Family Update

Um, yeah, so we are all sick. Somehow one after another we all got sick. Brady had it first and after a father's blessing from Keith (how grateful I am that Keith can give blessings!), he got better right away. But then Keith got the flu, and then Mommy got more sick, and then Natalie got weepy and coughy, and now Brady is back to laying around and wimpering like a little puppy. Thankfully my wonderful, sweet friend Kelli went to the store for us and got us some essentials (like toilet paper, kleenex, bananas, and Gatorade). Now we are all lounging around watching TV, alternating between being curled up in blankets and throwing them off, drinking lots of fluids, and trying successfully to cough up our lungs! The worst part of all of this is that this weekend we had 3 parties to go to! Natalie missed her Valentine's party at school, I missed my mothers need love too party at Ashley's and the real kicker, my poor sweet boy turns 2 tomorrow! So his birthday party will have to be postponed until we are feeling better. The ironic thing is that last year on Brady's birthday, Natalie woke up with the stomach flu! Let's not make this a tradition...mkay?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Way Back Wednesday

In honor of tomorrow being Valentine's day (boy am I glad we did something last week!) I thought I would post some of our wedding pictures. We got married in December, in Washington state, needless to say, I was a bit cold!
This is one of my favorite wedding pictures ever. Firstly because I am eating, secondly because would you take a gander at that WAIST! Um, yeah I am pretty sure that was photoshopped!
And because I haven't been able to post a recent, decent picture of Natalie in a while I found these. Proof that I do let my kids get messy! Sometimes.
This was her first attempt at feeding herself runny, sweet potatoes. She loved them!


OK, so before I subtly (or so I thought) hinted at the fact that it always seems like Keith is more sick than I am no matter what. But, I will give him this one time. The poor guy is SO sick, and I just wake up with a wicked sore throat every morning that goes away by lunch. We sent Keith to Urgent Care this morning, which is saying a lot, because we are not doctors office people, especially since Keith is not insured. Anywho, so long story short Keith is sick, he has missed school, and we are pretty worried about him. Pray for him to get well (and not just because Brady's birthday party is this weekend!).

**UPDATE** So Keith has the flu virus, greeeat. He went to Urgent care which cost him around 60 bucks, then they sent him with a prescription to WalMart, where they proceded to make him wait 40 minutes for his pills. That seems like a good plan, make the sick, pukey guy wait around spreading his germs for 40 minutes. Nice. Then it turns out the prescription was for magic pills! Well, they better be magic! It was $97 for 10 pills, yes you read that right NINETY SEVEN DOLLARS for TEN MEASLY PILLS!!! What do they think we are here? Made of money?? Sheesh! So, yeah these pills better work, and I better not get the flu!

Good news is after a day of laying around basically all day long, and a wonderful blessing from Keith, Brady is pretty much back to his old self. Namely running around and causing havoc. This is a blessing and a curse. A curse due to that fact that all I want to do is lay on the couch all day (and now I have to chase B), but a blessing because he really had us worried yesterday and we are thrilled that he is well!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's ba-aaack!

I am giddy as a school girl right now! The BEST, BEST, BEST show is back on TV! I heard about it only this morning on the radio, and I immediately called Keith to set up a series recording. I had NO idea the show was going to do a winter season (how did I miss this???)! Now all of you know I like my TV, but you may not all know I have a guilty pleasure. That pleasure is called: Big Brother! It is sleazy, horrible, and all around trash, but I love it! And this year is proving to be sleazier than ever! I am so excited...hehehe. Please, if any of you also partake in this horrible, trashy, wonderfully adicting show let me know, (I know my sister Sarah does!) and then I wont feel so alone posting my thoughs on the show! LOVE IT!

P.S. folow all the progress HERE. I am not cool enough to be a true fan and subscribe to the 24 hour video feed, but I love the show regardless!

Dear dooce,

Thank you



P.S. click HERE

P.P.S. I know it is really, really, REALLY mean, but she was all showing off with her quick footed skills then BAM! made me laugh out loud!

P.P.S. for those of you who don't know, never, ever, EVER read the comments on the you tube videos. Don't ask why, just don't do it!

on soap, books, and craziness

OK, so in my happy list I listed Country Orchard hand soap, this soap smells very, very good. BUT, I have found a new love! It is called SoftSoap Pomegranate and Mango. It smells SO stinkin good. I am in love with it, and it comes in a pretty, round, chubby little dispenser. I got mine on sale 2 for $5, I suggest if you see some on sale, snatch it up! The one I love is the red bottle.

Hurrah for school book clubs (yet another thing for me to spend moolah on)! Natalie came home with book orders the first day of preschool last month, and I was thrilled to see a set of 3 Skippyjon Jones books in a package deal. I read Skippyjon Jones a while back and instantly fell in love with the little guy. The books are hilarious and very imaginative! Good reads for your little one. Check it out HERE.
Oh yeah, and so I don't forget, I um...well...I tried to lock the front door with my automatic lock button on my car keys this morning. Yeah, didn't work out so well. I am losing it, I swear!

Monday, February 11, 2008

some moaning and groaning, and some more moaning

So, we are sick. I was waiting for it to come, and come it did. As of today Natalie is fine, with a bit of a cough. Brady is a slug, sick, hot, feverish, whiney, rosy cheeked, and basically just wants to be held. I have the sore throat, head ache when you move, body feels like I ran a mile version. Keith is the worst (or so he makes it seem...) sinus pressure, coughing, and lots and lots of icky stuff in his throat. So needless to say, it is a party over here! Luckily the kids have been troopers. Yesterday (the first day I was sick) they played together in their room for most of the day while Keith and I layed on our bed drifting in and out of sleep. Today, we watched lots of TV and Keith and I napped on rotation. He rested for 2 hours, then my turn, then his, etc. I keep trying to play my trump card of "I have to work 8 hours tonight" to get extra sleep, but it doesn't seem to be working. For some reason, I am never the sickest...funny how it works like that!

And just for kicks and giggles, this video, which was first seen by me on dooce.

Now I just pray I can get better before all the million, billion things I have this weekend!

Hurrah for Missy!

So, what do you guys think of my new look? I L-O-V-E it. It is the same simple style as Kelli's HERE, but more me. I love the colors, the stars, the polka dots (eep!), and she even snuck me in a little HOOT! Thank you forever Missy, I will never, ever change it!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Happy Things

I have been wanting to do a weekly installment of some sort to get some regularity into my blog diet. Because I hvae a tendency to dwell on the stresses in life, I have decided that each week I will post a list of happy things (some may be important, some may not) in my life at that time. I hope it will inspire you each to enjoy the little things.

1. Painted piggies (mine and Natalie's) and the first pedicure of the year with friends
2. Homemade spring rolls left over from Erin's church party...yum!
3. Anticipating the mail
4. Online shopping...trouble, but fun!
5. Soft, warm kids snuggled in my bed after work
6. Country Orchard hand soap
7. Yummy clearance perfume from Target (only $3.50!!!)
8. Dolci Frutta and strawberries on sale at the grocery store!
9. lots of swaps to create and send out
10. Brady's voice

That wasn't as hard as I thought!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Book Review: Garden Spells

When I first got this book, I was unsure. You never know with random novels if they are going to be clean, or completely smutty. This one had just the right mix of romance, danger and magic. I loved it so much. I can't really explain it well so here is a synopsis I found online:

"Two gifted sisters draw on their talents to belatedly forge a bond and find their ways in life in Allen's easygoing debut novel. Thirty-four-year-old Claire Waverley manifests her talent in cooking; using edible flowers, Claire creates dishes that affect the eater in curious ways. But not all Waverley women embrace their gifts; some, including Claire's mother, escape the family's eccentric reputation by running away. She abandoned Claire and her sister when they were young. Consequently, Claire has remained close to home, unwilling to open up to new people or experiences. Claire's younger sister, Sydney, however, followed in their mother's footsteps 10 years ago and left for New York, and after a string of abusive, roustabout boyfriends, returns to Bascom, N.C., with her five-year-old daughter, Bay. As Sydney reacquaints herself with old friends and rivals, she discovers her own Waverley magic. Claire, in turn, begins to open up to her sister and in the process learns how to welcome other possibilities."

Overall, if you see it on the self, check it out!

P.S. and please forgive any spelling errors, my spell check has left the building, I guess never to return

Friday, February 8, 2008

ABC's and a potty chair!

These last 3 weeks or so we have noticed that someone turned on Brady's words. He will try to say anything that we say, and we notice that new words come everyday. He loves to sing along to Cows! (if you click on "cows", and then scroll down half way under the picture of the book, you should be able to listen to the song, if you want to) from the Philadelphia Chickens CD. It has been so fun to hear his voice, to finally hear his take on things. He is also proving to be very smart, he notices when we make mistakes, and will readily point them out! We love our big boy and are so excited to see him growing everyday!

Here he is saying his ABC's with promptings of course!

P.S. the potty chair is more for looks at this point! But at least we can start to get him used to the idea!

P.P.S. Yes, we have another wonderful child too, but she has been refusing to let us take any videos/pictures of her, so there you have it, none to share!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Way back Wednesday

Sorry these are a little late, I was busy getting a PERM (that right, a perm!!) today. I will post pictures soon, once I tame the beast and get it styled how I like it. Anywho, here are some more pictures from my mom. All three were new to me, but all were wonderful memories!

Sarah and I at Christmas time at my Grandma's, she LOVES tinsel! And I LOVED that dress! It was velvety and it was the prettiest thing I owned at that point in my life...sad.

Here I am in awkward child stage. I loved huge sweatshirts that came down over my hands. And check out those shoes! I must have been still growing in to them. This one made the cut because it has the Oregon coast! hurrah!

Another favorite outfit, except this one is missing a main piece, a strand of white round beads ("pearls"). I remember thinking it was so cute! A perfect white necklace to match the writing on the my pretty red sweatshirt. I loved this sweatshirt because it was from my Dad's school, and that was SO cool.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

New shoes

I'm pretty sure my feet NEED to have these shoes. I am a sucker for polka dots and a nubby, round toe.

Now, I just have to find something to wear with them, so I can justify going to purchase them!

And so we can match Natalie MUST have these. As soon as I can find them in her size!

Hinckley Challenge

I really wasn't going to do this, but last night I started reading, and decided, why not? It will help motivate me to read every day, and I like to have a goal to work towards. Read more about the Hinckley Challenge HERE. You can follow my progress on my side bar, all the way at the bottom, on my own little chart! What a clever idea.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Feeling better?

So, I got to talk to my sister Sarah for a while the other day (hurrah!!) and she asked me how I was feeeling. I had to think a bit, but my reply was "down". As I look back and think about what we talked about following that I realized that unfortunatley "down" does not fully describe how I have been feeling for the last while. The real word makes me cringe, it feels trite and overused, the real word is: depressed. (Even saying it now, when I have made up my mind to come clean, feels icky) I know I have a good life, a great life, you could even say a wonderful life, yet I still get these bouts that hit me and nothing makes me feel better. I wish I could just tell myself "get happy" and all would be well. Until that works, I just trudge through, while constantly reminding myself of the good things in my life, until the cloud lifts.

One thing that will always bring a smile to my face is pictures of my children. Unlike the real, live versions, they don't scream or whine or ask for stuff. They are just bits of memories captured there to make us smile. Also, unlike the real, live versions, they don't hug or kiss, or whisper "I love you". So, while they are never as good as the real thing, pictures do bring a bit of sunshine in. Here are some from recently I haven't shared, that truly made me smile.

Brady was watching Sesame Street and noticed Natalie's Kya on the floor all alone. He went and got her so she could enjoy a little TV time too.

Natalie's school had a "pajama day" we found her these cute "fruit salad" jammies, as we call them, and she had a wonderful time at school.

Ah, the face, the silly, goofy, signature brady face.

Natalie came home with this mask, they learned about Africa at school. She thought it was pretty cool. Later, she scared Ewan with it, not cool.

Natalie, begged and begged to get me to take pictures of her couch. She played with this thing ALL. DAY. LONG.

She even fell asleep on it.

Ah, to dress up, and torture thy baby brother.

Um, Natalie? Mom? DAD? GUYS?????

There was an indoor rainstorm, it called for no pants and puzzles.Pretty much HAD to buy him this shirt.Oh yeah, we went for a trip to Bass Pro Shops, and Natalie found what she wants for her birthday. Keep dreamin' kiddo!

Sunday, February 3, 2008


"I cannot believe it!" -Quincy, Little Einsteins

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Why me?

Why, oh why, when there is only one place you want to be on this one Saturday, that you plan your day around an event, and you know, YOU KNOW, it starts at 2. You read the email over, and over, and over again. Yet you arrive a respectable 45 minutes early and learn it did not in fact start at 2, but 12, and all you get to do is sit in the hall crying and listening to what had to have been the most beautiful closing song, and the loveliest closing prayer ever. Why?

Friday, February 1, 2008


Before I even start I will mention a well known (by some) fact about me: I cry a lot. I cry over sad movies, sad books, memories, scary day dreams, deaths, you name it.

Last night I statyed up till about 2 to finish a book that was a little emotional and it had me crying, and for some reason got me to thinking. When did my life become one where my cousins are strangers to me? This crazy group of kids, of which I seemed to have been the annoying baby, was a part of my life at one time, and it makes me sad that I only know bits and pieces of their lives now. Granted this is partly my fault, I could call or extend the invitation to communicate, but, I get scared! It seems too much time has passed.
What is going on with my cousin Jason, the adventurous one that used to sit on my head and force me to watch Nascar? How is Holly who I know is recently married, although I sadly didn't get to go to her wedding. Or Joey (sorry about the mullet pic!) the oldest, how is his life and kids and marriage? And Greg, the smarty pants, my favorite (I feel I am old enough to admit this now!), the Doctor in the Navy(?? even which branch of the military I am not sure of), the one who would play PlayMobil toys with me, last I heard he was overseas, how I am not a part of this anymore?

Even my sister Sarah (this is what kills me most), I haven't met her husband, or seen her precious Kyra (who is going to be NINE!!) in ages. She hasn't gotten to meet my Brady and see what a sweet little guy he is. Sarah is the blood of my blood, we went through tough times together, and she understands why I am the way I am. I have shed so many tears over the memories I wish we could have shared together. I pray often that I will get to live near her, so that we can one day be a part of each others lives. We talk on the phone, but it isn't the same.
It just makes me sad that life changes. We get older and go to school, and have to move. One day we will all be reunited, and we can share our families, and children, and hopefully one day be able to feel a bit of the bond that I know was there when I was a child.

Anyways, last night this all came crashing down on me and I couldn't stop it. It makes me wish I could snap my fingers and all of my family and Keith's family would be living near enough to visit. I hate that there in things you can't change in life, like distance. Now I need to quit being a coward and pick up the phone.