As I sit here at the computer, giving my hips a brief rest, and fighting off tears, I realized...I am gonna miss this house. I really am! So much has happened, and so much growth has taken place inside these walls. It was our first house. I clearly remember the excitement of moving out of an apartment to a place with our very own yard! and garage! and 3 bedrooms! and bookcases as far as the eye can see!
It's quiet now. The house is pretty much a shell filled with boxes and furniture. Keith is gone taking a van load of odds and ends to the new place. The kids are both fast asleep, in their naked rooms, ready to wake up early and play at a friends. Not really grasping that this is it. The last night in their special rooms, their first rooms. That the dinner so lovingly prepared by a friend was the last dinner. That tomorrow it will all be gone, whisked away by friends and family off to a new place. With new beginnings.
Natalie told me that she already misses this house, that the new place doesn't feel safe. That it's...different. I told her it would become safe when we are in it. We will make it comfortable and turn into into a HOME and not just an empty shell of a house. But I get exactly what she means. We have a routine here. It's all we've known for 2 years. Pretty much all Brady really knows at all. It will be hard to leave. Harder than I thought it would be.
I know that soon the sad feelings will pass. When the boxes start getting unloaded and the walls filled with pictures. But right now I wonder why, with every new and exciting thing, does there always seem to be a bit of sadness mixed in? I assume part of it is my maternity hormones kicking in to full speed, but I know that a part of it is the moving on. Growing up we moved a lot. A LOT. And every time it was hard. Hard to leave friends, and familiar streets. Hard to meet new people, and be the "new kid" again. I am so grateful, so very very grateful my kids don't have to change schools. That would be too much. I don't know how I ever did that so many times as a child.
I guess this post has no real point. But I want to remember how I felt. That I did love it here. This house was good to me, and good to my family. And now we get to move to a house of our very own, and I hope it will treat us just as well.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
today
5:30 am: get awoken by Natalie saying she is hungry and can we get up now.
5:31 am: tell her to go back to her room and DO NOT come out until at least 6. for. the. love.
6:00 am: go get Natalie and head to the kitchen to cook my food and start getting everyone up and ready for the day, lunch packed, hair done, clothes put on, check blogs and fb, etc.
6:45-7:15am: proceed to melt down with tears and general hysterics over the rude responses and mean looks being exchanged between kids and directed at me. Make the kids sad because I am sad. Meh. Maybe seeing Mom cry over their meaness will make it stop? One can only hope.
7:15 am: kneel down for family prayer, asking for patience and kindess and obedience and the like. Can't we all just get along?
7:20 am: out the door and off to take Nat to school.
8:00 am: arrive back, send Brady to his room to play, hop in the shower.
8:15-8:45: rush around frantically trying to get B dressed, myself dressed, my hair actually dried and styled(a sure cure for some morning blues) and out the door for preschool.
9:00 am: drop Brady off for preschool, head to Target for prescription pickup, a few things for the baby, a gift for a birthday girl, a 12 pack of Diet DP.
9:45 am: off to first Doc appt. of the day. *sigh*
10:15 am: pee in a cup, get to see the baby, listen to the nutritionist tell me how to read the labels, listen to the doc tell me that my blood pressure is a bit high (first time ever for that) and that I need to cut down on activity. ha. hahahaha. ha.
11:15 am: head to Home Depot to set up an appointment for a window guy to come and measure our windows for an estimate.
11:30 am: Talk to very nice man about our options for window coverings.
11:45 am: Cry a little inside at the guesstimate costs of putting shutters and/or blinds on all of our windows.
12:00-12: 30 pm: fill out paperwork, blah blah blah. (wonder if we really NEED window treatments, I mean, who cares if the neighbors can see our every waking and sleeping move...)
12:40 pm: Leave store with an arm full of temporary shades and a slightly lighter pocketbook.
1:00 pm: pick up Brady from preschool, rush home to get him some food, use the bathroom for the 20th time today, and sit down for a few seconds.
and here I am. Still to come?
2:15 pm: Second doc appt, this time with OB. The last of the in and out appointments. Next week? Pelvic exams begin. Yay.
3:00 pm: pick up Natalie from school.
3:30 pm: plop kids in front of the boob tube and curl up in my bed for some rest (see previous mention of cutting down my activity)
5:00 pm: prepare dinner...oh man. Dinner! What on Earth are we gonna eat for dinner....
6:30 pm: kids in bed. or. else. Seriously.
7:00 pm: turn on MY boob tube shows and hopefully start chipping away at packing the kitchen.
8:00 pm: glance up to welcome Keith home. Maybe a hug, if he's lucky.
We shall see how late I last.
*sigh*
Oh yeah, and I still need to unload/load the dishwasher and fold the whites sitting in the dryer. There's time for that, right?
5:31 am: tell her to go back to her room and DO NOT come out until at least 6. for. the. love.
6:00 am: go get Natalie and head to the kitchen to cook my food and start getting everyone up and ready for the day, lunch packed, hair done, clothes put on, check blogs and fb, etc.
6:45-7:15am: proceed to melt down with tears and general hysterics over the rude responses and mean looks being exchanged between kids and directed at me. Make the kids sad because I am sad. Meh. Maybe seeing Mom cry over their meaness will make it stop? One can only hope.
7:15 am: kneel down for family prayer, asking for patience and kindess and obedience and the like. Can't we all just get along?
7:20 am: out the door and off to take Nat to school.
8:00 am: arrive back, send Brady to his room to play, hop in the shower.
8:15-8:45: rush around frantically trying to get B dressed, myself dressed, my hair actually dried and styled(a sure cure for some morning blues) and out the door for preschool.
9:00 am: drop Brady off for preschool, head to Target for prescription pickup, a few things for the baby, a gift for a birthday girl, a 12 pack of Diet DP.
9:45 am: off to first Doc appt. of the day. *sigh*
10:15 am: pee in a cup, get to see the baby, listen to the nutritionist tell me how to read the labels, listen to the doc tell me that my blood pressure is a bit high (first time ever for that) and that I need to cut down on activity. ha. hahahaha. ha.
11:15 am: head to Home Depot to set up an appointment for a window guy to come and measure our windows for an estimate.
11:30 am: Talk to very nice man about our options for window coverings.
11:45 am: Cry a little inside at the guesstimate costs of putting shutters and/or blinds on all of our windows.
12:00-12: 30 pm: fill out paperwork, blah blah blah. (wonder if we really NEED window treatments, I mean, who cares if the neighbors can see our every waking and sleeping move...)
12:40 pm: Leave store with an arm full of temporary shades and a slightly lighter pocketbook.
1:00 pm: pick up Brady from preschool, rush home to get him some food, use the bathroom for the 20th time today, and sit down for a few seconds.
and here I am. Still to come?
2:15 pm: Second doc appt, this time with OB. The last of the in and out appointments. Next week? Pelvic exams begin. Yay.
3:00 pm: pick up Natalie from school.
3:30 pm: plop kids in front of the boob tube and curl up in my bed for some rest (see previous mention of cutting down my activity)
5:00 pm: prepare dinner...oh man. Dinner! What on Earth are we gonna eat for dinner....
6:30 pm: kids in bed. or. else. Seriously.
7:00 pm: turn on MY boob tube shows and hopefully start chipping away at packing the kitchen.
8:00 pm: glance up to welcome Keith home. Maybe a hug, if he's lucky.
We shall see how late I last.
*sigh*
Oh yeah, and I still need to unload/load the dishwasher and fold the whites sitting in the dryer. There's time for that, right?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
random Brady
Yesterday Brady says to me, "Mom, we are having a baby soon, and moving into a new house, and I just turned 5 and Sissy's birthday is coming up! That's 4 miracles!" He is just too sweet. These kids are so darn excited for the baby. Brady is constantly saying he is much more excited for Wyatt than for the new house, and then quickly reassures me he is also excited to move.
Right now he is in his room making his bed and cleaning his toys so he can check off some boxes on a little chore chart they sent home with him from preschool. I think I need to jump on that excitement and make a chore chart for the new house. I mean he is So. Excited. to put a check in that little box! 5 can be such a great age, but it's also hard because he is truly transitioning from a toddler to a child.
I think Natalie forgets sometimes that Brady has his own imagination too, it will be good for Brady when the baby comes because I think we will all start to view him as a kid, not "the baby". We haven't had any teary moments lately where he cries to me that he doesn't want to grow up, and wants to be my baby forever. Those are heartbreaking, and I always reassure him that he will ALWAYS be my baby. If only we could keep them small and sweet forever.
Right now he is in his room making his bed and cleaning his toys so he can check off some boxes on a little chore chart they sent home with him from preschool. I think I need to jump on that excitement and make a chore chart for the new house. I mean he is So. Excited. to put a check in that little box! 5 can be such a great age, but it's also hard because he is truly transitioning from a toddler to a child.
I think Natalie forgets sometimes that Brady has his own imagination too, it will be good for Brady when the baby comes because I think we will all start to view him as a kid, not "the baby". We haven't had any teary moments lately where he cries to me that he doesn't want to grow up, and wants to be my baby forever. Those are heartbreaking, and I always reassure him that he will ALWAYS be my baby. If only we could keep them small and sweet forever.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
life
1. I think I am slowly losing my mind. You know when you go to the grocery store and you think, "do we have any of this at home?" and you hem and haw until you buy it, and you get home and low and behold, you DID have some of it at home? I keep doing that with tortillas. I think I have about 50 tortillas in my fridge. Seriously. We also have far too many cans of diced green chilis, but at least those aren't gonna spoil on me!
2. Natalie is currently in her room listening and singing along to Taylor Swift. Granted it's not the newest CD, full of songs about her current and past relationships, but still. Hold me.
3. Brady told me he is WAY more excited about Wyatt than the new house. I agreed with him. I can't believe we've only got 6 or so weeks left. And between now and then the amount of work that needs to get done is insane. I try not to think about it. I know it will get done though. I am pretty great when I procrastinate.
4. My girlfriends and I have been on this amazing crafty kick. It's certainly fun and keeps my mind engaged. I feel like if I don't do something where I have to think on some level or another I start to get blue. It's hard to fill blue when you are in a house full of amazing women and adorable kids. I wonder what our next project will be...
5. Danielle and Karen threw me my first ever baby shower last week. I about died. They did so so much, and I loved every bit of it. D wrote up a whole post here, aaand since I am too lazy to steal the pics you can go there to check it out. I can't believe I never had a shower with the big kids. Makes me sad. I think I may be getting another one for Wyatt though (spoiled? yes!), so then I will consider myself properly baby showered!
6. This house thing is like, really happening. IN. SANE. I drove by today and I saw that they had started fixing some of our requests (putting the storm windows and screens back on) and it's super exciting. Packing is going, slowly, but going. I am kind of an expert at it by this stage in my life. I have moved far more times than any person ever should.
7. Peanut Butter and Dill Pickle Sandwiches. Seriously. These are my new best friend. It's not even a pregnancy craving thing, they are just good. It's like the ultimate in salty/sweet combo and you MUST try it. At least once. Get your favorite bread, thinish layer of PB on both sides, and then a few slices of dill pickle in the middle. I get the pre-sliced pickles and it takes 3. Oh my goodness. It's so fun, and so good, AND GD approved! Yay!
8. I have started packing my hospital bag. Too early, probably. But, I don't want anything that I may need in the hospital to get packed and then not unpacked in time. Plus I found a cute bag at a recent trip to Sam Moon with Sarah, and I couldn't just let it sit there empty! Any tips on what I should take? I don't want to forget anything! So far I have a potential first outfit, a bunch of teeny socks, my little toiletry kit for Wyatt, the first blankie I bought him, and I think that's it. I need to get some cute slippers or socks for me, regular clothes will go in right before we leave. But what else do I take for baby?
2. Natalie is currently in her room listening and singing along to Taylor Swift. Granted it's not the newest CD, full of songs about her current and past relationships, but still. Hold me.
3. Brady told me he is WAY more excited about Wyatt than the new house. I agreed with him. I can't believe we've only got 6 or so weeks left. And between now and then the amount of work that needs to get done is insane. I try not to think about it. I know it will get done though. I am pretty great when I procrastinate.
4. My girlfriends and I have been on this amazing crafty kick. It's certainly fun and keeps my mind engaged. I feel like if I don't do something where I have to think on some level or another I start to get blue. It's hard to fill blue when you are in a house full of amazing women and adorable kids. I wonder what our next project will be...
5. Danielle and Karen threw me my first ever baby shower last week. I about died. They did so so much, and I loved every bit of it. D wrote up a whole post here, aaand since I am too lazy to steal the pics you can go there to check it out. I can't believe I never had a shower with the big kids. Makes me sad. I think I may be getting another one for Wyatt though (spoiled? yes!), so then I will consider myself properly baby showered!
6. This house thing is like, really happening. IN. SANE. I drove by today and I saw that they had started fixing some of our requests (putting the storm windows and screens back on) and it's super exciting. Packing is going, slowly, but going. I am kind of an expert at it by this stage in my life. I have moved far more times than any person ever should.
7. Peanut Butter and Dill Pickle Sandwiches. Seriously. These are my new best friend. It's not even a pregnancy craving thing, they are just good. It's like the ultimate in salty/sweet combo and you MUST try it. At least once. Get your favorite bread, thinish layer of PB on both sides, and then a few slices of dill pickle in the middle. I get the pre-sliced pickles and it takes 3. Oh my goodness. It's so fun, and so good, AND GD approved! Yay!
8. I have started packing my hospital bag. Too early, probably. But, I don't want anything that I may need in the hospital to get packed and then not unpacked in time. Plus I found a cute bag at a recent trip to Sam Moon with Sarah, and I couldn't just let it sit there empty! Any tips on what I should take? I don't want to forget anything! So far I have a potential first outfit, a bunch of teeny socks, my little toiletry kit for Wyatt, the first blankie I bought him, and I think that's it. I need to get some cute slippers or socks for me, regular clothes will go in right before we leave. But what else do I take for baby?
Monday, February 28, 2011
diapers and mail (and a few sneak peeks)
Years ago when we made the "big trek" from Portland to Charleston one of our neighbors gave us 50 12x12 priority mail boxes to help us pack. He ran a business from his home and had a surplus of these "free" boxes, and we gladly snatched them up. Over the years with our moves we have lost a few here and there, but for the most part they have stuck around. So every time we move it looks like I am running a post office in my house! Please do not ship our stuff, we need it! It does make me smile though, all those many many tiny little boxes stacked around the house. They sure are easier to carry than huge boxes filled with books!
We also learned early on to save, save, save those diaper boxes! So right now the corner of our living room looks like a certain aisle at baby's r us! Diapers as far as they eye can see. Slightly embarrassing when our friends come help us move, but again, we didn't have to pay for the boxes...well, at least nothing beyond the necessary expense of covering our kids bums! Hopefully we aren't the only ones that have packed things in crazy random boxes! Cardboard is cardboard, right? Right!
Oh, and I know so many people have been asking for pics to the house, well of course all the listings have been taken down (eeep!) but I did save a few, and I will take some of my own, and hopefully a walk through video, as soon as I can get back in there! We have to sit back and wait now for all the minor repairs to be taken care of. Until then here are a few from the realtor listings. They really don't do it justice, but it's so hard to photograph an empty house! And...I realized I copied mostly pictures of the kitchen, my favorite room in the house!
View from the street. It's on a nice quiet street, and right across from a historic graveyard, creepy and kinda cool!
View into the kitchen from what will be craft area.
Cut out over the sink looks right into the den, no more doing dishes all alone in the corner of the house!
Sunroom at the back of the house, this will be the baby proofed play room. I can't wait to fill this up and let the kids go to town! The cut out in the wall on the right looks into what will be our eating area. So when I am cooking, I can see the kids playing. I love that. (Plus a little peek at the pool and Keith's basketball hoop!)
Fireplace in the den with another cut out looking into the playroom. When they remodeled they cut out all the walls to really open it up. Now every room looks into this central den. I love an open floor plan, but so many older homes don't have that. I was so thrilled to find a house with all these "half walls" to keep us connected no matter where we are!
And the eating area. Can't wait to fill those shelves with all my kitchen stuff. No more rummaging around under the stove or pulling out a chair to look above the fridge! Finally my vintage bake ware can be out and about!
I seriously have to pinch myself about a thousand times a day that this house is ours. It doesn't seem real, or possible. But Keith has worked so hard and it has finally paid off. I just never thought the day would actually come!
We also learned early on to save, save, save those diaper boxes! So right now the corner of our living room looks like a certain aisle at baby's r us! Diapers as far as they eye can see. Slightly embarrassing when our friends come help us move, but again, we didn't have to pay for the boxes...well, at least nothing beyond the necessary expense of covering our kids bums! Hopefully we aren't the only ones that have packed things in crazy random boxes! Cardboard is cardboard, right? Right!
Oh, and I know so many people have been asking for pics to the house, well of course all the listings have been taken down (eeep!) but I did save a few, and I will take some of my own, and hopefully a walk through video, as soon as I can get back in there! We have to sit back and wait now for all the minor repairs to be taken care of. Until then here are a few from the realtor listings. They really don't do it justice, but it's so hard to photograph an empty house! And...I realized I copied mostly pictures of the kitchen, my favorite room in the house!
View from the street. It's on a nice quiet street, and right across from a historic graveyard, creepy and kinda cool!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Etsy finds {Friday} Saturday
I feel like I have been a real Debbie Downer on the blog lately. Well, last time at least, since I haven't blogged in ages. One of the blogs I read features a bunch of cute things from Etsy that she finds "window shopping" each week and I have certainly been doing my fair share of window shopping! I thought I would lighten up the mood by showing some of my favorite baby finds. Because, who doesn't love baby things? No one, that's who!
Only a few more weeks (sounds better than 2 months) of waiting and we will have our little bean to hold and snuggle. Looking at cute stuff keeps me sane. Especially on an early Saturday morning when I had to force myself to get up and eat my breakfast at my assigned time of 6:30 am. *sigh*
Seriously. This hat is the cuteness.
I LOVE these natural wooden teethers you see all over, but this design is just over the top. There is a little hedgehog one out there too, but the mustache is by far the cutest! 
Love this little see through "ouch pouch". So much better than having everything floating around in the bottom of your diaper bag!
I love these simple grey shoes! Soft and comfy for newborn feet. And I just love shoes on babies!
Only a few more weeks (sounds better than 2 months) of waiting and we will have our little bean to hold and snuggle. Looking at cute stuff keeps me sane. Especially on an early Saturday morning when I had to force myself to get up and eat my breakfast at my assigned time of 6:30 am. *sigh*
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Stressed because...
1. House inspection. For those of you that have ever purchased a house, you know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you that haven't? You aren't missing much! Basically a guy comes into your dream home, spends a few hours poking in/under/around your home and then proceeds to sit you down and scare the crap out of you. And also make you cry...or maybe that is just if you are pregnant. And then you cross your fingers and pray like crazy that the seller will repair the things that need to be repaired so that your husband you and your husband will feel comfortable enough moving in to said dream home.
2. Medical bills. Seriously. I miss the days of medicaid. Oh, to be a poor college student again! It was so nice to get off free and easy with our first two pregnancies. Now we are repaying our debt to society, forking over tons of money for insurance, and in turn paying 20% of all bills accrued. Holy crap. 20% is a lot. Especially when you have to have a C section. What does insurance do again??
3. Gestational Diabetes. Not only do I have to pay for all my testing supplies this time (see above), it's still a big pain in my patootie to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, all at the same exact times. Every. Day. I also have to poke my finger 4 times a day, and test my keytones each morning (I will spare you the details on that). Oh, and don't forget that the meals and snacks I am eating? All regulated with a certain number of this or that, and very little room for processed foods. Which to me equals TIME. Which I have very little of anyways. I forsee lots of scrambled egg sandwiches on english muffins and salad with chicken and lots of veggies in my future. *sigh*
4. School participation. I have totally slacked in helping out at Nat's school this year. Last year I went and helped twice a week with her lunches, this year? Nada. Not a one single time. I just can't! I can't break away from the house, I barely have the energy I need to keep this place in some semblance of order, let alone spend time up there wrangling juice boxes and fetching napkins. Maybe next year. Maybe.
5. On top of all of this, on top of being 31 weeks pregnant (and feeling and looking like I am 38 weeks), on top of Keith working up to 50 hours a week and going to school 4 nights a week (and trying to find time to read for said school) we are trying to move! Are we insane?? Some may say yes, but I do know this is what we are supposed to be doing. Everything is falling into place, but it's still a lot on the table, and all at once. packing. moving. unpacking. BABY. Oh dear. Wish us luck!
2. Medical bills. Seriously. I miss the days of medicaid. Oh, to be a poor college student again! It was so nice to get off free and easy with our first two pregnancies. Now we are repaying our debt to society, forking over tons of money for insurance, and in turn paying 20% of all bills accrued. Holy crap. 20% is a lot. Especially when you have to have a C section. What does insurance do again??
3. Gestational Diabetes. Not only do I have to pay for all my testing supplies this time (see above), it's still a big pain in my patootie to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, all at the same exact times. Every. Day. I also have to poke my finger 4 times a day, and test my keytones each morning (I will spare you the details on that). Oh, and don't forget that the meals and snacks I am eating? All regulated with a certain number of this or that, and very little room for processed foods. Which to me equals TIME. Which I have very little of anyways. I forsee lots of scrambled egg sandwiches on english muffins and salad with chicken and lots of veggies in my future. *sigh*
4. School participation. I have totally slacked in helping out at Nat's school this year. Last year I went and helped twice a week with her lunches, this year? Nada. Not a one single time. I just can't! I can't break away from the house, I barely have the energy I need to keep this place in some semblance of order, let alone spend time up there wrangling juice boxes and fetching napkins. Maybe next year. Maybe.
5. On top of all of this, on top of being 31 weeks pregnant (and feeling and looking like I am 38 weeks), on top of Keith working up to 50 hours a week and going to school 4 nights a week (and trying to find time to read for said school) we are trying to move! Are we insane?? Some may say yes, but I do know this is what we are supposed to be doing. Everything is falling into place, but it's still a lot on the table, and all at once. packing. moving. unpacking. BABY. Oh dear. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
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