As I sit here at the computer, giving my hips a brief rest, and fighting off tears, I realized...I am gonna miss this house. I really am! So much has happened, and so much growth has taken place inside these walls. It was our first house. I clearly remember the excitement of moving out of an apartment to a place with our very own yard! and garage! and 3 bedrooms! and bookcases as far as the eye can see!
It's quiet now. The house is pretty much a shell filled with boxes and furniture. Keith is gone taking a van load of odds and ends to the new place. The kids are both fast asleep, in their naked rooms, ready to wake up early and play at a friends. Not really grasping that this is it. The last night in their special rooms, their first rooms. That the dinner so lovingly prepared by a friend was the last dinner. That tomorrow it will all be gone, whisked away by friends and family off to a new place. With new beginnings.
Natalie told me that she already misses this house, that the new place doesn't feel safe. That it's...different. I told her it would become safe when we are in it. We will make it comfortable and turn into into a HOME and not just an empty shell of a house. But I get exactly what she means. We have a routine here. It's all we've known for 2 years. Pretty much all Brady really knows at all. It will be hard to leave. Harder than I thought it would be.
I know that soon the sad feelings will pass. When the boxes start getting unloaded and the walls filled with pictures. But right now I wonder why, with every new and exciting thing, does there always seem to be a bit of sadness mixed in? I assume part of it is my maternity hormones kicking in to full speed, but I know that a part of it is the moving on. Growing up we moved a lot. A LOT. And every time it was hard. Hard to leave friends, and familiar streets. Hard to meet new people, and be the "new kid" again. I am so grateful, so very very grateful my kids don't have to change schools. That would be too much. I don't know how I ever did that so many times as a child.
I guess this post has no real point. But I want to remember how I felt. That I did love it here. This house was good to me, and good to my family. And now we get to move to a house of our very own, and I hope it will treat us just as well.