It's time

As I sit here at the computer, giving my hips a brief rest, and fighting off tears, I realized...I am gonna miss this house. I really am! So much has happened, and so much growth has taken place inside these walls. It was our first house. I clearly remember the excitement of moving out of an apartment to a place with our very own yard! and garage! and 3 bedrooms! and bookcases as far as the eye can see!

It's quiet now. The house is pretty much a shell filled with boxes and furniture. Keith is gone taking a van load of odds and ends to the new place. The kids are both fast asleep, in their naked rooms, ready to wake up early and play at a friends. Not really grasping that this is it. The last night in their special rooms, their first rooms. That the dinner so lovingly prepared by a friend was the last dinner. That tomorrow it will all be gone, whisked away by friends and family off to a new place. With new beginnings.

Natalie told me that she already misses this house, that the new place doesn't feel safe. That it's...different. I told her it would become safe when we are in it. We will make it comfortable and turn into into a HOME and not just an empty shell of a house. But I get exactly what she means. We have a routine here. It's all we've known for 2 years. Pretty much all Brady really knows at all. It will be hard to leave. Harder than I thought it would be.

I know that soon the sad feelings will pass. When the boxes start getting unloaded and the walls filled with pictures. But right now I wonder why, with every new and exciting thing, does there always seem to be a bit of sadness mixed in? I assume part of it is my maternity hormones kicking in to full speed, but I know that a part of it is the moving on. Growing up we moved a lot. A LOT. And every time it was hard. Hard to leave friends, and familiar streets. Hard to meet new people, and be the "new kid" again. I am so grateful, so very very grateful my kids don't have to change schools. That would be too much. I don't know how I ever did that so many times as a child.

I guess this post has no real point. But I want to remember how I felt. That I did love it here. This house was good to me, and good to my family. And now we get to move to a house of our very own, and I hope it will treat us just as well.

today

5:30 am: get awoken by Natalie saying she is hungry and can we get up now.
5:31 am: tell her to go back to her room and DO NOT come out until at least 6. for. the. love.
6:00 am: go get Natalie and head to the kitchen to cook my food and start getting everyone up and ready for the day, lunch packed, hair done, clothes put on, check blogs and fb, etc.
6:45-7:15am: proceed to melt down with tears and general hysterics over the rude responses and mean looks being exchanged between kids and directed at me. Make the kids sad because I am sad. Meh. Maybe seeing Mom cry over their meaness will make it stop? One can only hope.
7:15 am: kneel down for family prayer, asking for patience and kindess and obedience and the like. Can't we all just get along?
7:20 am: out the door and off to take Nat to school.
8:00 am: arrive back, send Brady to his room to play, hop in the shower.
8:15-8:45: rush around frantically trying to get B dressed, myself dressed, my hair actually dried and styled(a sure cure for some morning blues) and out the door for preschool.
9:00 am: drop Brady off for preschool, head to Target for prescription pickup, a few things for the baby, a gift for a birthday girl, a 12 pack of Diet DP.
9:45 am: off to first Doc appt. of the day. *sigh*
10:15 am: pee in a cup, get to see the baby, listen to the nutritionist tell me how to read the labels, listen to the doc tell me that my blood pressure is a bit high (first time ever for that) and that I need to cut down on activity. ha. hahahaha. ha.
11:15 am: head to Home Depot to set up an appointment for a window guy to come and measure our windows for an estimate.
11:30 am: Talk to very nice man about our options for window coverings.
11:45 am: Cry a little inside at the guesstimate costs of putting shutters and/or blinds on all of our windows.
12:00-12: 30 pm: fill out paperwork, blah blah blah. (wonder if we really NEED window treatments, I mean, who cares if the neighbors can see our every waking and sleeping move...)
12:40 pm: Leave store with an arm full of temporary shades and a slightly lighter pocketbook.
1:00 pm: pick up Brady from preschool, rush home to get him some food, use the bathroom for the 20th time today, and sit down for a few seconds.

and here I am. Still to come?

2:15 pm: Second doc appt, this time with OB. The last of the in and out appointments. Next week? Pelvic exams begin. Yay.
3:00 pm: pick up Natalie from school.
3:30 pm: plop kids in front of the boob tube and curl up in my bed for some rest (see previous mention of cutting down my activity)
5:00 pm: prepare dinner...oh man. Dinner! What on Earth are we gonna eat for dinner....
6:30 pm: kids in bed. or. else. Seriously.
7:00 pm: turn on MY boob tube shows and hopefully start chipping away at packing the kitchen.
8:00 pm: glance up to welcome Keith home. Maybe a hug, if he's lucky.

We shall see how late I last.

*sigh*

Oh yeah, and I still need to unload/load the dishwasher and fold the whites sitting in the dryer. There's time for that, right?

seven.

random Brady

Yesterday Brady says to me, "Mom, we are having a baby soon, and moving into a new house, and I just turned 5 and Sissy's birthday is coming up! That's 4 miracles!" He is just too sweet. These kids are so darn excited for the baby. Brady is constantly saying he is much more excited for Wyatt than for the new house, and then quickly reassures me he is also excited to move.

Right now he is in his room making his bed and cleaning his toys so he can check off some boxes on a little chore chart they sent home with him from preschool. I think I need to jump on that excitement and make a chore chart for the new house. I mean he is So. Excited. to put a check in that little box! 5 can be such a great age, but it's also hard because he is truly transitioning from a toddler to a child.

I think Natalie forgets sometimes that Brady has his own imagination too, it will be good for Brady when the baby comes because I think we will all start to view him as a kid, not "the baby". We haven't had any teary moments lately where he cries to me that he doesn't want to grow up, and wants to be my baby forever. Those are heartbreaking, and I always reassure him that he will ALWAYS be my baby. If only we could keep them small and sweet forever.

life

1. I think I am slowly losing my mind. You know when you go to the grocery store and you think, "do we have any of this at home?" and you hem and haw until you buy it, and you get home and low and behold, you DID have some of it at home? I keep doing that with tortillas. I think I have about 50 tortillas in my fridge. Seriously. We also have far too many cans of diced green chilis, but at least those aren't gonna spoil on me!

2. Natalie is currently in her room listening and singing along to Taylor Swift. Granted it's not the newest CD, full of songs about her current and past relationships, but still. Hold me.

3. Brady told me he is WAY more excited about Wyatt than the new house. I agreed with him. I can't believe we've only got 6 or so weeks left. And between now and then the amount of work that needs to get done is insane. I try not to think about it. I know it will get done though. I am pretty great when I procrastinate.

4. My girlfriends and I have been on this amazing crafty kick. It's certainly fun and keeps my mind engaged. I feel like if I don't do something where I have to think on some level or another I start to get blue. It's hard to fill blue when you are in a house full of amazing women and adorable kids. I wonder what our next project will be...

5. Danielle and Karen threw me my first ever baby shower last week. I about died. They did so so much, and I loved every bit of it. D wrote up a whole post here, aaand since I am too lazy to steal the pics you can go there to check it out. I can't believe I never had a shower with the big kids. Makes me sad. I think I may be getting another one for Wyatt though (spoiled? yes!), so then I will consider myself properly baby showered!

6. This house thing is like, really happening. IN. SANE. I drove by today and I saw that they had started fixing some of our requests (putting the storm windows and screens back on) and it's super exciting. Packing is going, slowly, but going. I am kind of an expert at it by this stage in my life. I have moved far more times than any person ever should.

7. Peanut Butter and Dill Pickle Sandwiches. Seriously. These are my new best friend. It's not even a pregnancy craving thing, they are just good. It's like the ultimate in salty/sweet combo and you MUST try it. At least once. Get your favorite bread, thinish layer of PB on both sides, and then a few slices of dill pickle in the middle. I get the pre-sliced pickles and it takes 3. Oh my goodness. It's so fun, and so good, AND GD approved! Yay!

8. I have started packing my hospital bag. Too early, probably. But, I don't want anything that I may need in the hospital to get packed and then not unpacked in time. Plus I found a cute bag at a recent trip to Sam Moon with Sarah, and I couldn't just let it sit there empty! Any tips on what I should take? I don't want to forget anything! So far I have a potential first outfit, a bunch of teeny socks, my little toiletry kit for Wyatt, the first blankie I bought him, and I think that's it. I need to get some cute slippers or socks for me, regular clothes will go in right before we leave. But what else do I take for baby?